Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Letting Go

Ever heard this:

Isn't it about time for another baby?
Aren't you about ready to give little ______a brother or sister?
Don't you think you'd better have another baby, you don't want to wait too long, do you?

I really grow quite weary of dodging this questions(and now regret any time I have EVER asked it)-but I have an answer-
Yes I'm ready, I have never stopped being ready, but it's not about me or Russell, or Isaac or what we THINK we need or what we WANT or what society thinks is right, because it is not in our hands-its in the hands of our AMAZING LORD-and for that I am so thankful. God's timing is perfect whether WE realize it at the time or not. I look back on my life the last few years and I see the way God has worked, and how he knew my body wouldn't be able to handle a baby and meningitis in 2007 or a baby and 2 surgeries in 2008. We had no idea-but GOD did.

I know that our God has amazing things in store for us, and I am really, really working on being able to have a consistent peace about the fact that it may not include a baby. I've struggled with this for a while, like here then there's now when I know, that I'm in his hands but I don't know what HE wants me to do.
So, I'm not questioning-I'm just trying to wait-and know what HE has planned and not make my own plans-which is soooooo hard for me, because when I was 18 I thought I had it all figured out too, and boy I did not, but by being still and listening HE got me on the right track and I don't want to look back and see where I veered from HIS plan, I want to look back and see that I was walking in it.

I love the beat and tune of the song "I'm Letting Go", the whole thing speaks to me but look at this part:

I'm letting go Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control Of my destiny
Feels like I'm falling and that's what it's like to believe
So I'm letting go

So as we travel this road together, whether it is a struggle to know God's path for our career, our family, or building a family-it helps to lean on each other-and to remember that we have to let go-so that's what I'm doing-I'm Letting Go, letting go of all of it and knowing that God has control of my destiny. And praying for all the people I love who are struggling too, trying to Let go and Be Still.

The deep drawer abyss

I really hate drawers! They are so big and hard to manage that at our house they just end up full of crud, really full. Just take a gander. Can you believe how much stuff 3 drawers and one hole can hold??? Honestly it is unbelievable. So I set loose with the labler and some baskets and a trusty garbage bag and began to sort and pile. It's amazing what a difference baskets make. I'm currently addicted to baskets of all shapes and sizes. The best selection I've found was at Dollar Tree in Hendersonville. That's where I got the cool orange baskets for Isaac's closet, the neato green baskets I used in the linen closet and the really awesome see-through baskets I used with the computer desk.
I will have to add after pics later, can't seem to find them now :)

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Goal check up

So-we say we're gonna and we do for a little while and then we fall off the wagon. My goal this year is to stay on and in the wagon soooo here is a goal check up:

1. To have an organized home. -This is going well! I have decluttered and organized almost all of our spaces and we are doing a fairly good job keeping things together :) Except as I sit here I see the clutter from the computer desk-got to get back to this :)
2. To have a clean home. -Isaac is still struggling with his room and this hasn't been a good few weeks for me, but overall we are doing better with this as well. Need to be better at doing my daily chores!
3. To be healthier for my family and as a family. -well, I'm not cooking much-got to work on this!
4. To be better stewards of our money. -this is coming a step at a time
5.To deepen our walk with God. -We are working on having a quiet time together which is nice, but need to find something other than the Newleywed book we have had since we were newlywed and would also like to find something to use as a family with Isaac.

How about you? What goals did you set and how are you doing? Are there other things you want to do now that you have started?
For those of you that have been wondering-I was not swallowed by a whale, nor did I fall into a pit, well, not a real pit anyway. I've been lacking inspiration, lacking drive and still feeling a little pewny. My whole system is just out of whack and I am very done with it all. That, by the way is my favorite saying if you don't know me well-"I'm done"
In fact, my lovely assistant had a t-shirt made with that emblazoned several times on the front "I'm done, I'm done, I'm done". And that in fact is also how I've felt lately. My emotions are in an uproar and everything has been chaos, but we are passing through-a day at a time.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Updates to come

I PROMISE updates are in the near future!! Stay tuned :)