After a really looooooooooooooooooooong weekend filled with prayer, tears, and time with friends and family, Russell and I awoke this morning and trudged back to the outpatient center for my CT scan. I was nervous, but had the sweetest radiologist, who walked me through everything and was very low-key and patient. I had to have an IV to administer the contrast-and the contrast made me feel a little funny, but the feeling faded quickly. It didn't take more than 30 minutes, which was great, and they got all the shots they needed. I shook the whole time, prayed myself through everytime the machine coached me to breath, and made it to the car. Then as we prepared to call our friends and let them know this step was over, I lost all composure I had struggled so hard to keep. The tears came quickly and it was too late to turn them off. We tried to busy ourselves in Spartanburg, praying for quick results like those we received on Friday. But, by 1:00 we were done, and weary from hours of anticipation. We spent the afternoon at home playing with Isaac, knowing that we were much better off if we didn't get a phone call. Then, at 5:00 the phone rang. My doctor, not his nurse, called to let us know that they definetly saw a mass. He has decided instead of jumping straight to a biopsy, that I will go to a GI doctor, hopefully quickly, and then we will move from their.
I feel God's hand everywhere in this! This mass was found because of God's amazing power, and whatever needs to be done will be done. I have truly felt the power of each prayer as we have muddled through these days and nights. Of course I deepest hope and prayer for today was that there would be nothing there, but I had also prayed another prayer. I have prayed that the doctors would see what they need to see and we would continue to cling to God's promises. My new issue of HomeLife pointed out a verse I have clung to
"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorius hand." Isaiah 41:10
He is holding me up no matter what. This is beyond my control, I can't do anything to change it, but God is ready and waiting to help. It might not be in the form of removing the mass, but more in the form of providing doctors with the ability to find and do what they need to do. I am resting in the promise that I am in his hands!
We are so blessed with friends, family, and church family who have gathered around us and showered us with love and prayer! This is such a scary place to be, it makes it so much better to have a God who is in control and friends who are lifting us up in prayer!
Pray for us as we wait for this next step and try to keep our eyes fixed on our Lord!