A New Adventure

Well, I'm starting a new adventure. One I've never been on before: Weight Watchers. Thankfully I'm taking this journey with two great friends who are going to hold my hands the entire way, they promised. We were supposed to take before pictures last night after our first meeting and the last supper, but we forgot in our silly stupor!! We will get to it, I definitely want to be able to document the change together!!! I am so excited to start something and have people to support me along the way :) So here goes week 1 my first goal is 21 pounds, I'm going to see if I can find a ticker!!

Ready for Preschool

Isaac has had his first days back at preschool this week. It has gone fairly well, despite the gooey ear (ie, ear infection). We are so excited that he will have his beloved Miss Shanna again this year coteaching with Miss Kristy who was his teacher last year. He has loved all of his teachers, but had a very special bond with Miss Shanna and always will :) Miss Shanna is in the picture above giving Isaac a big good morning hug. Isaac's only issue is taking a nap. He does fine while there, but just tells me he does not want to do it!

Infuriating!!!

We all know that there are plenty of movies that are negative, ugly, or just plain crude. Some we watch anyway and overlook the bad parts, but then there are some that should just not be watched simply on principle. As a teacher of students with special needs I get so tired of the negative portrayals and connotations in Hollywood. Then I wake up this morning to find this about the new movies TROPIC THUNDER. You'll have to read this mom's take on it, but in short the first line of the movie is: Once upon a time there was a retard. In the world the movie makers and actors lived in, this seemed acceptable???? What a frightening and saddening day. People with disabilities don't choose their life or their lack of ability, but in my life my students and some of the other people I have encountered are the bravest people ever. And yet this ancient derogatory and offensive term is the big opening line for this new movie. What gives?

http://slurpinglife.typepad.com/slurping_life/2008/08/once-upon-a-t-2.html

Look What I Did!

Check out the music!! I visit several bloggers that have music and have been dying to try it. I did it, but now I can't figure out how to get my column bigger to hold the playlist so that you can see the entire thing, any tips??

In God's Time

It's amazing to look back and see the manner in which God has orchestrated things in our lives. Where he has put his hand in tiny little things to turn them into great big things. He knows the outcome, the reasons for each event, struggle, change, but only he sees the big picture as it goes along. But in the end we have the privilege of looking back and seeing God's hand in our lives. How it was his plan and his will all along and how it all occured in his time. The prayers were answered and about a zillion things that happened between the times we prayed and the answer, were getting us to the answered prayer. It's just amazing to me-There has been so much of that for us this summer, I don't even know where to start. God has blessed us with a church home and church family, a summer minus sickness, and wonderful friends. I don't feel worthy of this bounty, but I feel honored to recieve it.

What have you done?

I was nice and didn't tag anyone, but it was neat to reflect, you should try it!

[ ) Gone on a blind date
() Skipped school
( ) Watched someone die
( ) Gone to Canada
(x) Gone to Mexico
(x) Gone on a plane
( ) Jumped out of a plane
( ) Been on a Helicopter
(x) Gotten lost.
( ) Gone on the opposite side of the country
(x) Gone to Washington, DC
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Cried your self to sleep
( ) Played cops and robbers
(x) Recently colored with crayons
() Sang Karaoke
(x) Paid for a meal with coins only
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) Made prank phone calls
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) Danced in the rain
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) Gotten kissed under the mistletoe
(x) Watched the sunrise with someone you care about
(x) Blown bubbles(x) Gone ice-skating
(x) Gone Skiing (water & snow)
( ) Gone skinny dipping outdoors
(x) Gone to the movies
(x) Gone to a drive-in movie.

Any nickname? dawny, Dawny-poo, sparky
Mother's name? Sandy
Favorite drink? diet coke
Tattoo? a frog on my 2nd toe of my right foot :) My one college rebellion!
Body piercings? my ears
How much do you love your job? a lot
Birthplace? Spartanburg, SC
Favorite vacation spot? Isle of Palms
Ever been to Africa ? No, but it's on my places I want to go list!
Ever eaten cookies for dinner? oh yes
Ever been on TV? in college
Ever steal any traffic sign? no
Ever been in a car accident? Only in a parking lot
Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle? 4 door
Favorite salad dressing? Ranch
Favorite pie? key lime
Favorite number?3
Favorite movie?
Favorite holiday? Christmas
Favorite dessert? cake, pie, cookies....
Favorite food? all food
Favorite day of the week? Sunday
What do you do to relax? read
Favorite toothpaste? Crest
Favorite smell? fresh cookies
What month were you born in? May
Favorite Candle Scent? anything fresh, except in fall and I like yummy warm scents
How do you see yourself in 10 years? 10 years older
What 3 people do you tag to do this meme? nobody
Who will be the first to respond?

Torn on Tuesday

I apologize b/f you read this b/c I had typing diarrhea today-once I started it just kept pouring out.

I had a new feeling today, one that Mom's that work deal with a lot, but one that I have not dealt with in this situation before, or to the magnitude that I experienced it today. Today I felt torn. Not just torn, but as if I was being pulled from all directions in a battle of wills to see who could win and get the most of me.

-Mom
-Wife
-Follower of Jesus
-Special Education Teacher
-Reading Recovery Teacher in Training
-Housekeeper
-Cook
-Daughter
-Friend

Being a Mom is tough, it's a full time job and some Mom's are able and willing to take this on as their full time job. But, wow, I love being a Mommy. I love the good, bad, and ugly about it. I love looking back and laughing at my insecurities, regrets, and crazy hang ups.

Having a job outside the home is another difficult task, to throw in the daily juggle. The Lord truly led me to do what I do. It's my mission, my place, with all my heart I know I am where I am suppose to be right now and trying to do what he wants me to do. (sometime I promise to write about getting this message from GOD) BUT, being a Special Education Teacher of students with severe learning disabilities, attention problems, and some emotional disabilities is a difficult and draining job. It's an uphill battle with few rests along the way.

I realize now that I begin to put the words down, that this is been building for a while, but I'll go on.

You see today it wasn't a battle over everything at home and juggling, but more trying to juggle with grace all that's in my lap this year at work. I've been trying SOOOO hard to be positive, lean on GOD, and just plunge on through, but today the tears have been anxiously waiting behind my tired lids. Waiting for a weak moment, just waiting for me to slow down enough and let down my guard. And let me tell you, a few of those sneaky boogers got out, and I'd have to turn my head and wipe my eyes and continue to blow air on my eyes to make them go away.

Today I wanted and needed to be in two places and wear two hats and I juggled it, and ended up practicing my RR testing, even an extra time, getting to see 6 of the 7 of my students that registered today and then feeling like I didn't do it all the way it should have been done.

Isaac was with a babysitter ALL day-then it happened, he fell asleep sitting up in a chair at registration. Let me tell you, I felt like I should receive the "WORST MOM OF THE CENTURY" award. There were about a billion people in there, kids running everywhere, everyone talking and working, and my sweet baby is asleep sitting up with his head cocked to the side. And that did it. It broke my heart. It made me feel like the worst MOM ever and even as I write this I'm crying. It makes me feel like I put everything before him. Now, before my loving friends give me lectures, I know that that's not normally true, but that's what I saw when I looked at that sleeping baby today.

The Lord continues to bless me with rest, I have finally been sleeping at night and getting up early hasn't been bad. But I know things are going to start to suffer. The first to go is always the house, then cooking, followed by anything else that's not necessary to survival. Russell even told Isaac the other day that the time was coming when Mommy would be crazy and stressed out for a while, and then things would go back to normal. Is this what I want for my family???? For them to have to prepare for my inability to deal with stress and anxiety, and know that I am going to be crazy and off my rocker just because I'm going back to work. I feel lacking, like nothing I ever do for anyone is enough. All my husband asks for is a clean house, do you really know how hard that is for me??????????????????????? The cooking I can handle, but lately event that has been more of a chore. The crazy thing is I am ready to go back to school, to figure out a new routine, to start fresh, to learn new strategies, but I want to do with a different attitude, I want peace and control, grace from GOD to be what I need to be and who I need to be. My personality is so high strung and I tend to wig out and over-react, panic, stress out, and then just shut down.

So, I'm trying. The dining room is clean, living room and play room. I would probably tackle the kitchen, but I still have RR homework. I want to spend a little more time reading my devotional before I work on my lists. I think that's what I need: lots and lots of lists. I need to see what I have to do and schedule it in. I need to go to bed.

Maybe tomorrow I will cook, maybe not. Maybe I will balance everything better, maybe. But maybe, just maybe, in whatever I do, somehow I will be able to show GOD through it. Because I really am trying, trying to live the right kind of life for the right reasons.

A Struggle for peace

It's day 30 in my cycle, and I'm starting to feel like it will begin any day. Which means we're not pregnant. As I seek answers in this struggle, I am finding peace in many things. The Lord blessed us with a beautiful baby 3 1/2 years ago. He is growing to become a wonderful child and it is truly a blessing to have him in our lives. Sometimes I feel that we are letting him down by not having another child, that we should give him brothers and sisters to grow up with and grow old with. I have always longed for my child to have those connections, longed to be able to provide it and nurture it. But, today I feel blessed. Blessed to be alive, to have the opportunity to raise one wonderful child and deal with the struggles and trials that it brings. Would I love to have another baby? YES, most definitely, but more than anything I want God's will for our lives, for our families, and I'm beginning to see that it's not time. For everything there is a season. It's not our season for a baby, and may never be, but the Lord has plans for our family, of that I am sure, and I am delighted to be in a place that I can say "I'm yours Lord". This is what is to be. I don't want to take medicine and force my body to do things, I don't want to be poked and prodded and invaded. I want to spend this time and energy on things that will glorify our wonderful maker, I want to be used for his glory.



Thank you Lord, for my wonderful Isaac. Thank you for allowing us to be parents and for continuing to hold is in your arms as you guide us and help us grow in you. I praise you for the peace you have given me. You are mighty Lord!

Welcome to Blog Land

I am soooo excited that my friend Lana has decided to begin a blog! Check her out here .

What lies ahead

In the dark corners of my cluttered, unfinished classroom lie stacks of things that haven't found a home. New things in boxes wait, new treasures I have found this summer. My mini-van is burdened with quite a load of treasures I have unearthed during our break. New read alouds, maps, alls orts of precious things. All meant to inspire and intrigue a new group of students. In 2 weeks and 1 day students will be filling that room. Day after day, hour after hour. It's not ready for them yet. The perfect nooks for curling up with a book haven't been fixed, there are no empty baskets waiting to be filled with their perfect selections, their are no carefully written name tags, or perfectly sharpened pencils, Not Yet. But on the 19th, when those students arrive, there will be. There will be a morning message, literacy invitations, icebreakers, community building, love, and a room full of things to help feel these students with knowledge and caring.

So, if you ask me if I'm ready the answer is two fold. I am, I am more ready than I have been in a long time. I am inspired by my reading, my reflecting on past years, and my research. The room is not ready, but as always it will be, we will all be ready!

A fungus Among Us

It began about a week ago. A break out. It started on my chest, then behind my ears. Then began to creep down my arms. By this week I was well aware that what we had here was more then acne. I begin to search my brain. Had we changed detergants? NO. Soap? NO. Perfume? NO. I came up empty. By Saturday the spots had progressed so that I had scaly, slightly itchy blotches form the size of a dot, to the size of a nickel from my neck to my belly button, even on my back and my breasts. I have never in my life seen anything like this. Russell at one point was convinced I had chicken pox. By today there were even spots on my face, struggling to break to the surface. Russell's other big theory was that it was my anxiety, but that's a whole post in itself, so we won't even go there!!

Well, we went to the doctor today, because school starts soon, and I'm embarassed to be seen in public. I have a fungus, that I can't pronounce. The treatment SELSEN BLUE. That's write, dandruff shampoo. I have to let it soak for 10 minutes, until it dries and wash it off. Everyday for a week. I'll let you know how it goes, what an adventure :)

Change

Since starting this blog I've really struggled with content. Not that I didn't have anything to put, but that I couldn't decide which way I wanted it to go. My blog began as a way for others to keep up with my family, see pictures, and stay in touch. Then of course I wanted to be able to share school things and so I began a TEACHER blog which was a great way to share. Now, I really feel the need to just be able to write. To write whatever is on my heart and have the opporunity to share it. It's impossible to keep up with multiple blogs for me, because of the other things going on, so I've decide to change ours a bit to meet these needs. You will see some changes in the next few blogs and I hope they will be for the better!