Recovery

I have rested a lot today. It has come easily, thankfully, but has also come with a little bit of grouchiness. I think I have just been so tense, that it is finally making its way out. My prayer is that as HE has before, that the Lord will take this. The fear, uncertaintity, pain, anxiety, all of it. I am so thankful for all God has done in my life and I do not want to ruin the next few days by letting these feelings overtake me. I am hoping that it is a combination of all the pain meds, lack of other medicines, and just the stress and that I will continue to feel better and better each day. I continue to be so blessed by my friends and parents. I had a few visitors today, who didn't mind my bobbing head ( I could hardly hold it up I was so sleepy most of the day), my parents came and were here thankfully when my toilet overflowed and their was at least 2 inches of water in 1 bathroom, 1/2 of our VERY long hall and part of the guest room-craziness. The firedepartment caroling was toinght at Landrum-so all the kids, grandkids, families, etc. came and stood in the front yard. It was so touching to get to share that bit of Christmas joy with them and to realize when we have taken the time to do that for other people, just how much it really means. It really meant the world.

I still am amazed to be home-it is the best feeling ever. We love you all!!

A night at home

Well, I got to spend the night in my own house lastnight. Notice I didn't say my own bed, because it is way too painful to laydown, get up, and wiggle around-just not worth the trouble. So my DH and my daddy moved the jumbo recliner we had in our bedroom to the living room so that I could get comfy in it and then try sleeping in it as well. I slept on and off-not more than an hour or so at a time, which is going to get old fast. Hoping that each day will get better.

God has really had his hand on us throughout this and we know that he continues to do so now. We never dreamed we would be home by now, and to be home and able to sit up is even more amazing. Those of you that know me well don't have to worry about me over doing it because I don't feel like it. I don't feel like holding my head up, but my DH did ask me today if I was sure they hadn't done something to my brain instead of my liver-because I told him that the house was driving me crazy. If you know me well you know I like a clean house, but don't keep it that way much. Right now, everything is bothering me, and I guess it is because I can't do anything about it. Everywhere I look I see dirt, or clutter or crud-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

So-we are home and settled in. We would love to see you if you would like to come visit, but we don't need anything! REally, really. My amazing friends brought food for an army last night. So if you feel like you can put up with my narcotics induced haze, and my robe and pj's state, come on by :)

We're home!

I am exhausted and more sore than I have ever been in my whole life, but I am home and in one piece, minus about 1/2 my liver :) It hurts to move, if I stay still I'm good-but then stiff-so trying to move a little at a time. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers-it is so good to be home :)

Santa's Little Helper

Are you on the naughty list? Or have you been nice?? Just how does Santa get those daily updates?? At our house they come from the friendly, but slightly shy and very sly Elf on the Shelf named Frost. The Elf on the Shelf has become a fun holiday tradition for our family. He doesn't talk(Santa won't let him talk to humans), you can't touch him(it will take away his magic), but he flies back to the North Pole every night to report to Santa. The catch is that he hides someplace new each morning. It has become quite the motivation to jump up and find his new hiding place each morning-and a quick reminder that Frost might tell Santa-helps sometimes too.

A peak inside . . .

I love to decorate! Fall is my favorite, such a nice change after having the same stuff up for so long!! But, I also love the fun and excitement that come with decorating for Christmas. I have a thing for trees, big, little, hanging, standing, fat, skinny, I love them all!!! And I love trying to make things different from year to year. This was my first year with a new dining room, which proved to be super fun!! No more icky paneling, carpet, or room encompassing shelves!! Instead, fresh green paint, hardwood floors, and walls with simple furniture. Such a difference. Soo- I got to try some new color schemes and some VERY different things. I used only red, white, and silver in my dining room and I LOVE the way it turned out against the green. I also coordinated my paper and ribbon, I'm not usually matchy, matchy to this degree, but it was fun!! The only thing I don't like is the lack of crown molding in one corner, one of our MANY unfinished projects that loom over our heads. I didn't take pictures of everything, but here a few:

And finally, what we've all been waiting for. . .

Okay, so maybe you weren't waiting, but I've been waiting, forever, for Isaac to sit in Santa's lap and it finally happened!! Saturday night we went Spartanburg City Fire Department for dinner and Santa came to visit! Each child received a present and their name's were called and they got to sit with Santa. I knew what the outcome would be, due to previous bad experiences, however I was pleasantly suprised! Check it out:

A shepherd

Our preschool children had the sweetest program at church last Sunday. Isaac was a shepherd and really enjoyed the chance to dress up-but quickly melted down by the time he was to sing. He went from happy to done, pretty quickly. (But he looked sooooo cute!!) It didn't bother Autumn's Alexa to be on stage-check her out in the 1st picture as Isaac is pouting!! I've got video of her dancing away on stage-I've got to see if I can download it!!

Brithday Party

Last year's birthday party fiasco (due to my sickness) was topped by this year's, due once again to our crazy happenings!! We had to wait until the last minute, not knowing when surgery or appointments would be. SO we went to Charleston on Thursday, came home Saturday, and partied on Sunday-whew!!! Let me tell you, it wore me out!!!!! We kept it simple, well for those that know me, as simple as I could keep it. We had sports themed centerpieces, plates, etc. Had a pizza, salad, breadstick lunch, and then hot chocolate and cake. It was a "swingset" birthday-because that is what Isaac wanted to do-play with his friends on his swing set. It was chilly, but perfect playing weather-and the hot chocolate helped fight the chill. He had a great time and enjoyed playing with all of his friends :)

4

Everything about Isaac's life is still so fresh in my mind-so fresh, that it is hard to believe 4 years have escaped us as quickly as they have. Isaac turned 4 on November 24!

Heather always does this for Carson and Ella and I love it, so I am going to copycat her idea:

Isaac at 4 (with a little help from Isaac):

-loves firetrucks
-still snuggles
-loves to pretend (batman, firefighter, knight,)
-likes snow globes
-enjoys playing Thomas the train
-still doesn't sleep in his own bed all night
-doesn't like his room or his bed
- loves books and being read to
-thinks he is too big for a nap
-can write his name, he has almost mastered the "S"
-loves to swing and play outside
-is sad that now all of our trees are naked
-is eager to give everyone their Christmas presents
-fought off a nasty sinus infection without shots!!!
-tells us he is aggravated :) (can't imagine where he heard that)
-enjoys singing ( we still have to listen to VBS music in the car)

Busy times

Sorry for the lack of posts! I have tons of pictures and tons of updates to do, but we have been very busy :) Isaac turned 4, Thanksgiving, and now trying to get ready for Christmas! I have really enjoyed decorating this year, last year I had just gotten out of the hospital and didn't feel like doing much! But this year I have done a little at a time, trees, then the den, dining room, and finally today the porches. There are still little touches I want to do, but it is coming together nicely!! So-I promise pictures, lots of them-soon. My class is working hard on Santa's Workshop and we are trying to finish up our wrapping and Christmas jobs here!

Surgery

Friday, December 19 @ 3:45 pm

That's the big day!

Hopefully an end to what has ended up being a crazy ride :)

We will drive down on 12/18, have pre-op the morning of surgery and surgery is scheduled to begin at 3:45 pm. I will be in the hospital through Sunday for sure and then as long as I am healing well, I will be allowed to go home.

They will take out a little less than 1/2 of my liver through a bikini hole and will use the other holes from gallbladder surgery for instruments, etc.

They are still very encouraged that things look good, that it is by their knowledge completely benign, but we will know more and get a 100% when they take it out.

Thank you for your prayers! I am nervous about being in Charleston, getting home, and everything being so close to Christmas.

Post-Surgery Update

It has been a week, since I came home from gallbladder/biopsy surgery. We met with the surgeon that preformed this and he says everything looks to be healing well. Dr. Srinivasan feels that there is a very good likelyhood that this mass is benign. He says because of some of the characteristics, they are unable to be 100% sure until they actually remove it. Dr. Srinivasan has spoken several times with Dr. Chavin at MUSC, and assures us that this is the best route to take. He has even said that if it were his wife or daughter that this is what he would want to do and even the surgeon he would want to use!

Our appointment at MUSC is @ 8:45 am on Friday. My Grandma and Grandpa Wall live in Charleston, so we will be staying with them. We will come home Saturday, because Isaac will turn 4 on Monday :) So, we have to have a Bday party on Sunday after church.

I still have no appetite, which isn't a problem, b/c I still have a lot of weight to lose, but I'm having to make myself eat so I will have energy-really not fun.

Still a little sore and tired-and this has been one crazy week, work, doctor, etc. I haven't even finished packing :)

Thank You for your prayers and encouragement this week. I feel God's touch in so many ways right now, but continue to struggle this week. I know it is the combination of everything, it's all a little overwhelming, but I'm ready to feel good again :)

Praise

My amazing Mom and Dad kept Isaac for the night!! So not only did I get out of bedtime, I also don't have to worry about tugging and pulling this morning. Isn't God good??

Tuesday

Well, I worked both yesterday and today. Yesterday wasn't bad, but I think afterschool I over did it and so today I felt sick all day. Then, I had class this afternoon, so now at 7:00pm am just getting home and settled-I have a feeling I will fall into bed in the next hour, if not sooner!!

Thank you so much for your prayers, concern, and encouragement! What a blessing to pull up my blog and have friends sharing verses and prayers-you continue to touch my heart.

Isaac and I had a tough morning-gettting dressed, out of bed, in the car etc. is difficult when mommy can't just pick you up!! So I pulled, tugged, and pushed, probably way more than I should have, b/c I have been sore all day. But, I got to school and got to pray with the most special group of ladies. It is such a blessing to work with these Godly women, to pray with them, for them, and to be able to turn to them in times like these. I left feeling truly uplifted, just from being with them for a few minutes.

Tomorrow-I am going to cover my child in prayer. This is such a tough time for him too! And this morning I was far from the Mom I aim to be, just trying to get him moving and going-when I am usually able to pick him, hold him, carry him to get dressed, and then carry him to the car. It's a big adjustment-not an easy thing for an almost 4year old to do-adjust!

So my friends and prayer warriors-today I pray for Isaac.

Thank you Lord for the blessing Isaac is to our home and our lives. We are reminded daily of what a gift he truly is and praise you for what you have done in our lives through his little life. I pray that you would give Isaac peace, and that simple childlike understanding of this situation. Let him feel your presence here in our house and with us as we travel. Most of all God, help us to guide him to a greater understanding of you. May our words, and actions exude you. Be with Isaac as he struggles with mornings, and a Mommy that can't do all she use to do. God, most of all, don't let all these other things take over, but mold and help us to remember how you are not only in control, but right here with us. May we feel your presence and know that you are the perfect loving Father.

The yicks

I've been thinking alot tonight about planning. It has become the running joke among Russell and I that we can't plan any further ahead than the next doctors appointment. That is really how we have been living our lives the last 3 1/2 weeks. A big change from being slaves to the calendar, the next work day, meeting, class, etc. We all know GOD is in control. We say it all the time. I've and many others have repeated it over and over the last few weeks. HE is always in control, but sometimes, as we fill in our calendar blocks and plan out months of our lives at a time we forget that. We forget that only HE knows what the next days hold for us. These last few weeks have been a startling reminder of that for me. It hasn't mattered what my plans were, they were and will be useless. I have to go and do what God already had laid out for me. And I've tried. I've really tried to seek his face and maintain an attitude that would bring him glory. My friends have encouraged me, told me how good I'm doing, lifted me up in prayer, brought me food, and all the other things great friends do when you really need them. But, sometimes, even when you know GOD is in control, that he has you in his hands, it doesn't make it any easier. And today is one of those days.

I'm tired of being brave, of reassuring everyone that it's all going to be okay, when I really don't know that. I'm tired of hurting, of missing work, of not being able to play with Isaac. I'm sick of waiting rooms, hospitals, and doctor's offices, long drives, long waits, and long appointments. I'm tired of xrays, needles, and the need for endless tests.

This time last month, we working on Isaac's swing set, enjoying being outside together.

And now, I sit here in tears, pouring my heart out on my crazy blog.
The one thing I have been able to do through all of this is to put off the what if's. And now, they are popping up. And it's just too much.

The next step . . .

The next step . . .


We will be seeing Dr. Kenneth Chavin @ MUSC in Charleston on Friday, November 21 at 8:45 am. This will be for a consultation. While there we will schedule surgery #2. The plan is for laproscopic liver surgery to remove the mass on my liver. There are still no results from the biopsy, but both Dr. Chavin and Dr. Srinivasan agree that no matter what the results are, the mass should be removed.


The more I process this, the more anxious I grow. But I know without a shadow of a doubt God is in control. Our prayer is that this mass is benign, that they will take it out, and God will have all the glory. We know that the results are in his hands, and I am struggling to remember this as I deal with the realities that this entails.

Good Morning

Wow! It's amazing what a good nights sleep in my own bed will do!! I'm still a little tender, but I feel great compared to yesterday!! God is soo good. I still don't have much of an appetite, I haven't been hungry at all. But thanks to a sore throat, I've been able to drink a ton and stay hydrated. Russell slept with Isaac in his bed last night so I could have our bed to myself. I surrounded myself with pillows and had a great night. I woke up a few times. But it was much less interrupted then Wednesday at the hospital. We are hoping to hear biopsy results today so that we can move forward, I will post when we hear anything.

Home again, Home again

After one really long day and night we are home!!

Here's an update:

-They ended up doing surgery about 2 hours earlier than planned.
-Dr. Srinivasan was able to do the liver biopsy after he finished my gallbladder.
-I have 4 boo-boos, covered with bandaids and closed up by stitches.
-My abdomen is so swollen I could be 12 months pregnant.
-I spent the night, because they had a hard time getting my pain under control.
-I feel like someone has been digging around inside with one of my ribs-really.
-I'm home :)

Thank you for your prayers, phone calls, etc. I am still really sore and just trying to move around. I must return to the couch.

Tuesday Update

1. Surgery is set to begin at 5:30 pm tomorrow @SRHS
2. Surgery will include gallbladder removal and a liver biopsy
3. There is a 50% chance I will spend the night and 50% chance I will come home.
4. We have to be at the hospital at 3:00 pm.
5. My Mom will pick Isaac up from school and keep him.
6. I can't eat after midnight or drink after 6am, going to be a long time till 3:00 pm

I'm sure you all are taking this as certifiable proof that I am loony, however putting it all out there in list form really helps me to grasp it, and make sure we have our bases covered.

At present I have been dashing around completing different crazy tasks that I thought I would still have time to get done. I really want the house to be as clean and orderly as possible-and if you know me, you know I struggle with clean and orderly, unless we are having company. So far the kitchen, dining room and blue bathroom are good. Still have to work on Isaac's room and our room and then make a den sweep.

As you pray, pray for peace tonight as we prepare, pray for strength, knowledge for the surgeon, and most of all God's hand in all this :) We covet your prayers through this journey!

I will try to have a blogging stand in tomorrow, so check for updates

Not Me Monday

I did not drag out my Christmas trees from the attic last night even though my husband thinks it is completely against the rules to do this until after Thanksgiving.

I did not blog while my child ran around in his birthday suit instead of putting his pajamas on.

I did not spell dessert with only 1 s, therefore telling my family to each bring a desert to Christmas dinner.

I also did not send the letters anyway, knowing that if my mother didn't notice, neither will anyone else.

And I most certainly did not spend the last few days ordering list after list of things from vistaprint.

I also didn't wrap all my presents, put bows on them, and stack them on the couch.

I am not about to put the gifts under the tree either :)

Dr. Srinivasan

Whew-Step by step, and day by day God is seeing us through this. Today we met with Dr. Srinivasan, the surgeon we were referred to by Dr. Mossburg my GI. He ordered an MRI, which by God's grace, we were able to get completed today!! We will have results of that tomorrow and may know a little more.

As of now we know:

A-the gall bladder is coming out.
B-they may or may not biopsy the liver at the same time.
C-I will most probably be going to MUSC for a surgeon there to remove the mass, unless it turns out to be just a mass of blood vessels, which they do NOT think it is
D-we will wait more and trust in GOD

I've said all along that this is in God's hands and that we would not have found the mass if it had not needed to come out so I truly feel that we are on the right track. When the doctor told us today that he thought we would be better off at MUSC, I almost had a panic attack-but I had to remind myself, what capable hands I would be in if I do go there and that God will open and close doors as needed, and this just might be a door he has opened for a very important reason.

So, as once again we wait for answers, orders, and our next step, our prayers remain simple. That we would continue to seek his guidance and peace and that we would continue to be led to carrying and knowledgable physicians. Overall, I am most in awe of the amazing doctors we have intertwined our way to-God is so amazing.

Christmas Photo Disaster

First, I get no smiles

Then I get, my personal favorite, eyes closed and tongue out.

And finally, tears and screaming!

This is what happens when you try to "plan" a nice family picture for Christmas cards with a 3 year old. Needless to say I don't have a picture to use. So, it will either be a picture of just Isaac, or we may give it one more shot, the jury is still out.

My Sweet Boy

Fall is my FAVORITE picture time! The air is crisp, the light is great, and the trees and ground are great backdrops!! Isaac and I have had a lot of fun taking pictures and playing :)

Surgeon

We got a phone call yesterday and now have an appointment with Dr. Srinivasan on Monday. This was a lot quicker then expected and we are glad to have one more thing fall into place with God's help. Dr. Srinivasan has a great reputation and is an expert in laproscopic procedures. There is still the chance of other tests being ordered. According to Dr. Mossburg, the only things I haven't been through at this point are an MRI and just regular Xrays. So, there is a very good chance that before Dr. Srinivasan makes a decision regarding surgery, he will send us for these tests. That's okay though-We want to go into this with the doctors being armed with as much information as possible, and if that means me going through more x-rays, etc., then we are willing to do it. If I had to pick a perfect surgery date it would be 11/21, because I would get 10 days in a row to reccupperate and only have to take 3 off and it would still be 6 days b/f Thanksgiving, so by then I should be feeling better. But, we all know picking the perfect date is impossible and that God already has all of that planned and in his control.

Sooooo, as we go Monday, I simply pray for grace in accepting what our Maker has paved the way for and remembering that through it all HE is in control.

Thursday Update

Sorry for the delay in updates this week-it's been a busy one!

I went to Dr.Mossburg, my GI, today. The liverscan didn't reveal anything significant to help them feel certain about anything. This is good and bad. They didn't look at it and think bad things, but they also couldn't be certain that it is benign. Soooo as always we are on to our next step.

The next step:

I am awaiting a phone call from either Dr. Mossburg's office or the surgeon's office. I will go for a consultation with the surgeon and then they will make the decision on how to proceed with biopsy, gallbladder, etc.

I must say that God has really gotten me through the last 2 weeks, but the more this drags on, the harder it gets to stay call and have peace. I don't want to be out of comission another holiday season and as we go from step to step we get increasingly closer to the Isaac's bday, thanksgiving, Christmas, santa's workshop-the list just goes on and on. So, I am really working on being ahead of the game, getting done what I can get done, and getting my house in order. I even thought I might try to do some ahead of the game cooking this weekend and freeze it for Thanksgiving or even do holiday baking. Who knows!

Prayer-Thank you for your continued prayers for us during this time! I have been so touched by the friends, coworkers, church family, and others, who have lifted us up to our Lord. We have truly been in God's hand through this. I know we are where we are because of HIS almighty plan and I hope I can carry out what he wants me to do! Pray that we are guided to a skilled surgeon who will be able to complete both procedures, that we will get appointments quickly, but that we will remember we are on GOD'S time, not our own. And most of all that we continue to seek his will in this and all situations :)

A Holiday Must-Freebies

If you have never tried VistaPrint, now is the time! They have great deals and lots of freebies. I just finished an order of 11 different items, my total b/f discounts was $212, but with the freebies and free shipping, I only spent $12.00. I got a personalized tshirt,hat, calendar, postcards, magnets, pen, the list goes on and on!! Go to VistaPrint and check it out! Side note, after trial and error, it will only let you get 10 free things at a time :)

Not tied up yet . . .

I never did have a chance to tie bows today, but I did shoot a few pics of the bounty!! FYI: If you haven't bought wrapping paper yet, you have to go to your local Costco or even Sams. I got this reversible 400 sq. ft. roll for (drum roll please) $8.99!! I was so thrilled!! Their ribbon is also $6.99 for 50 sq ft. and is wired-anyone can make a great bow with wired ribbon. My advice-go to costco and buy your paper and ribbon, by the time you buy all you need at someplace else you will have spent at least that much!! I would have only spent $16, but I splurged and got 2 rolls of ribbon, a pretty sheer green with red glitter and solid white with flocked snowflakes!! I plan to use some of both on my trees as well!

I did, Did you??

All Wrapped Up

I can't believe what I've done. You won't believe it either. Well, some of you will, because you know I like to get ahead of the game. I had already gotten my lists together, found my cards, bought my wrapping materials. But this year I was one step ahead of the game. I have spent most of the year scouring sales and searching for perfect gifts. So when I lugged all the bags and boxes out of our Guest bedroom I made an amazing discovery-I had gifts for EVERYONE on my list! Then last week Russell and I had some time together so minus one item we need to get we have finished Isaac shopping.

Then, last night after I cleaned the dining room, living room, playroom, kitchen, and Isaac's room, we ate supper and I moved on. I sat in the living room at the coffee table and got every one of the presents wrapped (not Isaac's). Now they sit waiting to be adorned with fun bows, that will be my task today after we vote. I have to post a picture. I am so glad to get over this hump!

Saturday Update

Well, I got to work yesterday! It was great to be with my students, I have missed them this week!!

I did get to speak to the nurse at my GI's office yesterday, here's what I got:

1.NO results from liver scan yet, it could be Tuesday before we hear.
2.I asked for them to go ahead and line up a consult with a surgeon, and they will wait until they get the liver scan results.
3. My bloodwork is back. Blood cell counts were great, but the enzymes for liver function were off.
4. I see Dr. Mossburg again Thursday at 3:30 pm.(This is giving them time to read and study the liver scan)

Friday morning I had another gallbladder attack. I've been given something to help with the pain, but it didn't seem to make much of a difference. Looking back it might have taken some of the edge off, but not much. So, I'm really hoping that they will move quickly to take this gallbladder out.

I'm looking forward to the next 2 days at home with my boys :)

Trick-or-Treating with Friends

Getting Ready Fun

Thursday Update

Uggh-I am so weary of the drive back and forth to the hospital and doctors office-This was our 4th appointment in about as many days.

Liver Scan-I was injected with a solution so that they would be able to get a good look at my liver and the mass. I had to wait 30 minutes for this to circulate through my system, before they could begin the scan. The scan itself took about an hour. I had to lay still for extended periods of time while the camera took slow images. Then they would move and do it from another angle. It was not painful, or scary, just draining. We will not have results for several days.

I have only been able to work 1 1/2 days this week (due to the tests and appointments) and that is frustrating and difficult for me. As of now, I will work tomorrow and get to be there all day, which will make it 2 1/2. I am still juggling 2 hats at work and so it makes it even more difficult to be out.

At this point I am emotionally drained. Zapped! I feel like I have been drug through the mud and back. Yick!

Next Step: I will call the GI doctor tomorrow and try to schedule an appointment for next week. My hope is Tuesday, since we will be off for election day. We hope that at this point they refer us to a surgeon for gallbladder and biopsy. The quicker we complete all these steps the better.

Side Note: Yesterday Dr. Mossburg asked me how I felt about all this and I told him that we just wanted to know what to do. That we were faithful in God's promises and know that he is in control of the situation. I was thankful for this opportunity to let him know where our trust lies!

Prayer: Continue to pray for us as we deal with the unknown, as we try to face this adversity looking to God for direction and Guidance.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen things I have experienced in the last 7 days:

1. Abdominal Ultrasound
2. CT Scan
3. CT Scan with contrast
4. Tons of bloodwork
5. Nuclear liver scan
6. GI appointment
7. Discovering I have a gallstone
8. Discovering I have a mass on my liver
9. Discovering the mass is the size of a golf ball.
10. A loving and caring husband who has been with me every step of the way
11. Fear of what the future holds.
12.The awesome knowledge that God is control
13.The comfort and power of friends who pray

Wednesday Update

We love Dr. Mossburg our new GI! He is personable, compassionate, and to the point. He was reassuring that in many cases this mass could benign. But he is not settling for assuming, which we appreciate greatly!

What we learned:

1. The mass is golf ball sized. (This freaked me out, I had pictured a marble)

2. A cyst/mass like this is particularly common in my age.

3. Due to my "youthful glow" as he put it, I am at much less risk.

4. Still no definitive cause

5. Still no reason for it being there

Our Next Steps:

1. Extensive Bloodwork: Completed today. This will test liver functions, enzymes, and markers that could possibly indicate cancer. (and Lots of other things I can't remember)

2.Nuclear Liver Scan: Thursday 10:00 am This will be yet another Xray type procedure, with contrast to give more views of the liver.

3. Gall-Bladder Decision: I am still having a great deal of pain/problems with my gallbladder. The only choice at this point is to wait or to schedule surgery.

4.MRI, more tests: The biggy for our doctor is that we do everything that is uninvasive first to learn as much as we can, then we move on from there.

5. Biopsy-This will be the last option for now, but if gallbladder removal is schedule, this will for sure happen and happen at the same time.

Prayers:

1-A clear view in the nuclear liver scan.

2-Calm nerves for me and for my DH as he waits and endures with me.

3-Quick answers confirming what they find

4-Patient and caring radiologists to complete and read the scans

5-That anything I swallow will stay down ( I think I have to drink the contrast this time)

Today, this is the verse I cling to:

It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great. You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn."Psalm 18:32-36

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."Deuteronomy 31:6

I praise the Lord for the doors he has opened over this last week. For the glory he has revealed and for the strength he has poured out over us. HE has gotten us through day to day and contiues to do so. There are so many things going on in our world, the future of our Nation hangs in the balance as this election draws near. Remember as you pray to pray for this Nation, for healing and for people to take action in electing a new leader. But let's not forget all we have to praise! I look around at the beauty of my surroundings, my amazing family, the children I am blessed to teach, the friends God sent me this summer, just everywhere I turn I see God's hand and reasons for Praise! We praise you Lord for your glory-for even the ability to call on your name and know that you will answer.

Prayers

WOW! How thankful I am for my brothers and sisters in Christ who are lifting us up in prayer through this struggle! I appreciate so much the hugs, love, and thoughts, but most of all your commitment to pray for us. I have said before how I feel God's hand in so many ways. This is a chance for me to share it and profess it! God is our everpresent help. He is right with us as we undertake this scary journey. He might not make it go away, but he's there to see us through it. I read The Shack this summer. And I keep thinking back to some of the encounters the main character had with Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit. I was reminded of so many profound things from this story. I think I just might read it again.

Again-for those of you that are praying thank you for taking your time to bring our petition before our most Holy God. I thank God for each of you!

Also, I would love to know that you are praying and keeping up with the blog here-I hope for it to be a witness of God's amazing power and presence in our lives! Please leave a comment and let us know that you've been here! You don't have to be a blogger to comment!

PS_I promise an afternoon update when we get back from the doctor!

Tuesday Update

Goodness! What a day! It amazes me how hard it is to get a doctors appointment and actually see a doctor. What a mess. My family doctor worked today on getting me an appointment with my GI-who I saw forever ago for IBS. He couldn't see me until NOVEMBER 10 and his PA couldn't see me until NOVEMBER 3. Needless to say this was not what I wanted to hear-waiting a week to even know the next step we will take. So, they are sending me to Dr. Mossburg tomorrow at 12:30.


This is such a praise! Not to have to spend any more time than necessary stewing over what will happen next. I have a peace about all this, but I don't like dwaddling through. I want to get on to the part where they figure out what is going on with my body and what they need to do to fix it!

I do have to say what an amazing support system I have! My husband has been super amazing. He has been there every step, holding my hand, holding me, and reminding me that we'll just take things a step at a time. Even when I felt like I should go alone tomorrow and him not have to miss work, he wants to be by my side, even just to hear what happens next. I praise God, to have such a supportive and loving husband. We have been through so much the last six years and he continues to be by my side plunging through it with me!

So-tomorrow at 12:30 I will be in Spartanburg (once again) and meet another new doctor. My prayer is that he will be knowledgable and compassionate about the situation and that whatever avenue he recommends will not be one that takes months to play out! Whatever is going on needs to be dealt with, or God would have never revealed it :) I just pray that through each step of the way God's light will shine through us!

Update

After a really looooooooooooooooooooong weekend filled with prayer, tears, and time with friends and family, Russell and I awoke this morning and trudged back to the outpatient center for my CT scan. I was nervous, but had the sweetest radiologist, who walked me through everything and was very low-key and patient. I had to have an IV to administer the contrast-and the contrast made me feel a little funny, but the feeling faded quickly. It didn't take more than 30 minutes, which was great, and they got all the shots they needed. I shook the whole time, prayed myself through everytime the machine coached me to breath, and made it to the car. Then as we prepared to call our friends and let them know this step was over, I lost all composure I had struggled so hard to keep. The tears came quickly and it was too late to turn them off. We tried to busy ourselves in Spartanburg, praying for quick results like those we received on Friday. But, by 1:00 we were done, and weary from hours of anticipation. We spent the afternoon at home playing with Isaac, knowing that we were much better off if we didn't get a phone call. Then, at 5:00 the phone rang. My doctor, not his nurse, called to let us know that they definetly saw a mass. He has decided instead of jumping straight to a biopsy, that I will go to a GI doctor, hopefully quickly, and then we will move from their.

I feel God's hand everywhere in this! This mass was found because of God's amazing power, and whatever needs to be done will be done. I have truly felt the power of each prayer as we have muddled through these days and nights. Of course I deepest hope and prayer for today was that there would be nothing there, but I had also prayed another prayer. I have prayed that the doctors would see what they need to see and we would continue to cling to God's promises. My new issue of HomeLife pointed out a verse I have clung to
"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorius hand." Isaiah 41:10

He is holding me up no matter what. This is beyond my control, I can't do anything to change it, but God is ready and waiting to help. It might not be in the form of removing the mass, but more in the form of providing doctors with the ability to find and do what they need to do. I am resting in the promise that I am in his hands!

We are so blessed with friends, family, and church family who have gathered around us and showered us with love and prayer! This is such a scary place to be, it makes it so much better to have a God who is in control and friends who are lifting us up in prayer!

Pray for us as we wait for this next step and try to keep our eyes fixed on our Lord!

Prayer request

I went today for a gallbladder ultrasound. I wasn't really worried about what they would find because we knew that it would either be: fine, sludgey, or a gallstone. Those were the options, at least the options we had imagined. We got a call back from the doctor before we ever even made it out of Spartanburg, which is never a good sign. They found a gallstone, but they also found something on my liver. When we went back to the doctor's office we were told that they have found a mass on my liver. I was blown away. If it had not been for my pesky gallbladder we would have never found this. God is SO amazing.

I'm still a wreck! There are so many endless possiblities. I go first thing Monday morning for a CT scan that will show all angles of the liver and hopefully give them a better view of the mass. Once they do this, they will schedule a biopsy so that they can see what we are dealing with. In the meantime, I am shocked, shaky, weapy, and really trying to lean on God's promises.

Please pray!!! We are praying that the doctors and radiologists will have wisdom as we go through this process and that we will have peace as we wait. I can be such a worry wart, so I pray that I can give to God and let him work in mighty ways!

I was just reading a blog yesterday, about the friendship and support found through fellow bloggers and it got me thinking how much I enjoy sharing what is going in our lives and hearts with others and getting to share their lives.

It is such a relief to pour this out and know that my friends will be lifting this up to the Lord!

Negative Comments

In all the time I have blogged I have NEVER had anyone leave anything ugly, until today. I appreciate comments and I respect opinions, but this blog is not a place for anyone to be judgemental or critical of anyone. I am disappointed that someone who reads my blog would stoop so low as to leave negative comments and then do so anonymously. I think people misinterpreted what I wrote. I was simply trying to be an encouragement to my friends, and remind them that they are loved and appreciated-something we all need to be reminded of :)
That being said:

Now, I must step onto my soap box!


God has truly blessed my life with the women he has placed in my path. From the ladies I work with, to ladies that I go to church with and in between.
We are all different ages, in different stages of life, but I consider them all friends. There are single moms, stay at home moms, working moms, moms of multiples, moms with lots of children, moms with only one child, moms with grown children, moms with lots of family help, the list goes on and on.
These moms all have 1 thing in common: They are continually seeking GOD'S will for their lives and the lives of their families. None of us are perfect in our search, but thankfully we have a loving and forgiving GOD. That is why I have such respect for these women, and feel so honored to be there friends. We are called to be encouragers, to uplift our brothers and sisters in Christ, I am not always the best at this. I am often quick to judge and continually struggle to rid my life of this. God has shown me lately how important it is to be an encourager, looking for positive points, and offering a smile, or a prayer for a friend or a stranger.
This just to say: These ladies I call friends and I, some bloggers, some not, are not doing what we do out of selfishness, need for attention, or any other outward reward. We do what we do: teach, nurse, mother, etc. because that's where we feel like GOD has led us. We are not choosing one thing over another, or putting anything else first.

If you haven't had this struggle, of finding the right path for your life, then you are either blessed or missing out. If you read my blog then you remember my post HERE, and what a struggle I had at the beginning of the school year with making sure I was in the right place and trying to balance everything.

Remember, it is difficult for us to find balance, no matter what we are juggling-and we need each other to lean on and to encourage us :)

Thanks for enduring my soapbox.

Swing Set Progress